I don't want to talk about it or write about it or deal with it. Again. The recurring struggle of my life. My love-hate relationship with food. The ups and downs of the scale. But, the Yo-Yo has come around and smacked me in the ass. Again.
In so many ways, my first year here in Santa Fe has lived up or surpassed my dreams. My business is doing well, I found a sister-from-another-mother in my roommate, I've made new friends and feel a part of this enchanted community of artists and dreamers and entrepreneurs.
It has been a stressful year though. Starting a new life, rebuilding my business, making new friends - all good but stressful things. I forgot that my default reaction to stress is to turn to my drug of choice. Food. I am a food addict. Something I finally came to terms with more than 10 years ago. But, denial is not just a river in Egypt. I jumped right back on that Merry-Go-Round named Denial and used food to help take the edge off of my fears.
So, here I am. Again. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. And, finally ready to stop hiding from my fears and face the truth. So, here goes. After crawling through this painful AWARENESS and wallowing in radical ACCEPTANCE for the last few months, I AM now recommitting to one day at a time ACTION.