This Will Go Down on Your Permanent Record

I decided to get rid of my high school yearbooks.  I have one from each year and even have plastic covers & my name embossed on three of them - just some of the "perks" of having been a yearbook staff photographer.  This particular act of simplification seems almost sacrilegious.  As I was tearing out the pages I plan to keep & scan into my computer and I heard the lead singer of the Violent Femmes repeating the warning in the title of this post that adults often invoke to try to keep teenagers in line.  I guess it feels a little like I'm destroying school property, and I have to say, I kinda like it. 

I wasn't much of a rebel in high school, although I did shave half my head when I was 16.  Listening to the Violent Femmes was about as rebellious as it got for me though.  I was an honor student and actually enjoyed learning, but hated the popularity contests and social games that took place in the hallways everyday.  Even though I looked a lot like Molly Ringwald in those days, there was no Breakfast Club for me.

I really did look like Molly Ringwald in 1985.

So, why have I been holding onto these weighty tomes dedicated to the glorification of all the things I hated about that time in my life?  At one time, I certainly felt proud for having been a part of the team that put them together.  I also have fond memories of learning about processing film and hanging out in the darkroom at school.  But, I always felt most comfortable participating in school events from behind the viewfinder of a 35mm or video camera.  Even though I lost a lot of weight in Middle School, I was still considered fat by some of my classmates who made it clear on a regular basis in the hallways that I didn't "fit in", so I always felt like I was on the outside looking in during those four long years.

In 1986, during my Junior year, my high school became the first school in Nebraska to produce a Video Yearbook.  I loved shooting video as much as still photograph, even though I had to support a huge video camera that used full-size VHS video tapes on my shoulder,  and thoroughly enjoyed participating in the editing process.  I still remember the excitement and anticipation of the first time we showed it to the whole school.  It was way too long, more than 2 hours, and had too much football footage, but it was a new & exciting way to capture our collective memories.  I made a point of converting those VHS tapes to DVD a few years ago to preserve them.

I have to admit that I started writing this post right after I'd torn out pages from all but my senior yearbook.  When it came to this last book I hesitated, probably because I was much more involved with it and there are naturally more pictures of the seniors (the people I actually knew in my school).  The first rip was the hardest, but once I'd pulled it out, the rest were much easier.  This might be a tougher decision if I didn't have a scanner and computer to store them on, but even if I didn't simply keeping the pages that actually have some meaning and pleasant memories for me would be a good start.  Now I can have some fun scanning & doing some finally cropping & editing of those torn out pages.

 

Getting rid of my yearbooks is just another layer in this process for me.  I'll hold onto the pleasant memories in a digital format, but I'm done schlepping all those football players & cheerleaders around with me.  Twenty-Five years is long enough to carry their extra weight.  

Illusion of Control

I realized yesterday that some of my feelings about letting go of some of my things is about control.  We had a repairman in to fix the washer yesterday who also happened to buy & sell antique radios.  When my Mom called to say he was there and interested in my grandparent's radio I was selling, I was happy to make the deal.  A few minutes later though I started feeling anxious about it and just wanted to get home and see the radio one last time before it disappeared from my life.  Very melodramatic, I know, but it made me realize that it wasn't really about the radio or that it belonged to my grandparents.  My feelings were about being out of control of the situation.

"Illusion of Control" by Brian Andreas

I was surprised by this epiphany.  I've known for a long time that any control I think I have over any other person, place or thing is an illusion.  The only things I can ever hope to have any control over are my own actions, inactions & reactions.  Even my feelings are beyond my control sometimes, although I have learned to act better than I feel most of the time and don't tend to wallow in my emotions for very long these days.

Trust me, I've spent some time on the Pity Pot over the years.  Through trial & error, I've just learned that a positive attitude and positive actions make all the difference for me.  I can't usually think my way into better action though.  I have to get busy doing the next right thing or helping someone else.  Maybe that's why helping people clear away clutter is so satisfying for me.  I know how good it feels to clear space in a drawer, closet or room, and I've witnessed that feeling in others.  Some of my clients even do "Happy Dances" in their driveways!

I'm not ready to dance down the driveway yet over this realization, but I am grateful for the awareness that the need for control is still a part of me.  Having had that awareness, I can now work on accepting it and continue take actions contrary to those feelings.  And I'm excited to see where the wind will carry me when as I continue down this enchanting road to Radical Simplicity.

Traveling Companion

This little lady is coming with me to Santa Fe.  I may be embracing a radically simple life, but that doesn't mean that I'm stripping away all of it's little pleasures.  My dear friend Mary gave me this doll that has "Let Go and Let God" stamped on the front & "Serenity" on the back.  Both are good reminders about what is important to me today, but it does seem ironic that I'm keeping something that actually says "let go" on it.  I love dichotomies though and perhaps she will serve as a talisman and bring me good luck on this journey.

My Radical Moving Sale went well this weekend & I got sold or donated about 75% of my furniture, household items & decor.  I met some great people and several of my friends showed up and bought a few of my favorite things.  It makes me happy to know where some of my stuff ended up.  I did have a few rough moments though with the second truckload of donations to Goodwill.  I felt like I was abandoning old friends and worried that they might get broken or thrown away for a few brief moments.  I'm over it now, but at the time I was feeling a little blue about this part of the process.  Today I feel a little lighter & more excited about all of the new adventures that await me here in Omaha & when I get to Santa Fe (not to mention the road trip itself).

Now I'm focused on selling the rest of the big pieces on Craigslist and will be working on scanning another batch of my Mom's family photos.  Two of my Aunts gave me all of my Grandparent's and Great-Grandparents pictures back in May & I've been slowly but surely getting them all scanned, labeled & shared on a family website.  It's been a labor of love and one of the projects I need to complete before my move.  

Trust GOD, Clean House, Help Others

This pretty much sums up my philosophy on life.  It's a slogan I first heard about 20 years ago and I use it often to help keep me grounded in the present moment. Sometimes it's a mental exercise and other times it's an action packed adventure - just like this new path of mine. 

My understanding of GOD today is simply Good Orderly Direction, which probably isn't surprising for a Professional Organizer.  A positive attitude and simple solutions are almost always the best medicine for whatever ails me.  Lately, I've been saying "I trust you GOD. I trust you GOD." over and over again whenever the voices in my head decide to blast me with fear filled messages about this journey.  Last night was pretty emotional for me after I writing about letting go of my books.   I'm not sure exactly why, because I regularly make room for new books on my shelves, but I was really weepy for a while.

Fortunately, I intuitively knew to pick up the phone today and reason things out with someone else and look for the next right action to take, which usually involves laundry or dishes, to readjust my attitude.   That's not to say I never take time to feel my feelings, I'm just understand that more often than not, those feelings are based on unfounded fears rather than facts.

Learning how to be of service to my friends, family & community also helps me tremendously.  Getting out of myself reminds me that I'm not alone and I always feel better after helping someone whether it's lending a helping hand, an open mind or a friendly sounding board.

Even thinking and writing about it now makes me feel better. So, I guess this is a good place to stop for tonight. 

Goodbye Norma Jean

Today was the first day of my "Radical Moving Sale" and despite the chilly weather we had a pretty good turn out.  I was so happy when a friend from high school bought a little bundle of my Paris memories, which included my Eiffel Tower lamp & a cute little placard from an ice cream shop that I picked up during our high school trip to France.  She & I went to Paris with our French Club after graduation so it's fitting that she chose these mementos.  I'm especially grateful that she took home an antique glass painting commemorating the signing of The Treaty of Versailles that belonged to my Grandmother.

I'm still looking for a buyer for my Marilyn print though & I've been hearing Elton John singing "Goodbye Norma Jean" from Candle in the Wind all day. I'm not having trouble letting this print go and will always have fond memories of buying when I was in college.  I've always loved black and white photography and this was my first venture in buying photography as fine art.  While my love of photography hasn't changed over the years, this process of "unadorning" my life is making me take a good look at who I am today & helping me define who I want to be tomorrow.

It makes me wonder how Marilyn felt when she left Norma Jean behind for her new life in Hollywood, and how I'm going to feel about when I've actually left my life behind here in Omaha and have settled in Santa Fe.  This journey is certainly taking me outside ALL of my comfort zones and since they say, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone", I'm sure wonderful surprises and amazing adventures await me. 

Today I am especially great-FULL for...

I'm pretty beat after the last 2 days of my Radical Moving Sale and will write more about  that in the next few days.  I only had enough energy to write my daily grat-I-tude list tonight before bed & thought I'd post it here tonight as well.  

I've been typing & sharing a "Baker's Dozen" of grat-I-tude (I type it like this with the hyphens because it reminds me that "I" am centered in gratitude) with a group of friends through email for about 8 or 9 years now.  It has become a daily discipline that always helps me focus on the present moment and the abundance that surrounds me everyday in all areas of my life. 

1.  abundant sunshine

2.  my garage sale is over

3.  two carloads full of all the "little" stuff that didn't sell taken to Goodwill

4.  Devin's help loading the car, taking down the sale signs, hauling trash & arranging the remaining furniture in the garage so we can park in it again

5.  a lady came today because she saw my "Radical Moving Sale" post on Craigslist and wanted to buy a couple of my radical chairs

6.  another friend reminding me that daring to dream & deciding to follow my dream makes it a success

7.  feeling the feelings and putting stuff that didn't sell in the car for donation

8.  several of my friends and one of my client's bought some of my things

9.  enough energy for a quick trip to Whole Foods this evening

10.  knowing I can sell the remainder of my furniture on Craigslist

11.  earmarking some of my sale money for a pedicure tomorrow

12.  becoming more aware of how I spend my money since starting this simplifying process & spending less as a result

13.  ibuprofen

Namaste, Shannon

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.  ~ Melody Beattie

I've Love BIG Books and I Cannot Lie

Books were my best friends as a child.  I loved reading them, falling asleep with them, living vicariously through them, artfully stacking them on tables and arranging them in interesting ways on my bookshelves.  I miss card catalogs and wonder if kids are still taught the Dewey Decimal System in school.

I remember experiencing life on the prairie in A Lantern in Her Hand and wanting to be like Jo in Little Women.  I discovered Kurt Vonnegut as a teenager and feet like I'd been let in on a great cosmic joke after reading Breakfast of Champions.  I became enamored with the dashing rogues and delightful damsels of romance novels in my late teens until I discovered the wonderful world of non-fiction and all of the real life heroes & heroines in the world.  Then I spent a few years scaring myself to sleep with Stephen King's twisted masterpieces.

I moved into the New Age in my 20s and followed Shirley MacClaine & Edgar Cayce around the world and back through time.  Og Mandino, Emmet Fox, Eckhart Tolle & Stephen Covey were the cause of many paradigm shifts in my 30s and then I met Christopher Moore's character Biff, Christ's childhood pal in his novel Lamb.  Talk about a paradigm shift!  I fell in love with this comic romp through ancient times from the very first line, "The angel was cleaning out his closet when the call came." 

When a friend recommended Joan Brady's, God on a Harley, my world changed again.  The very idea of God coming back to give us each our own set of commandments and then taking the time to help the main character clean out her closet made inordinately happy.

I met my soul sister, Sarah Ban Breathnach, a few years ago when I finally got around to reading Simple Abundance.  I was a little busy raising my son in the late 90s when it came out.  I am so grateful I finally picked it up and found much comfort & joy the world she created with her words.


I stumbled upon Robert Sawyer's Neanderthal Parallax Trilogy about 10 years ago and felt much the same way I did when I read Vonnegut for the first time.  I've always been fascinated by the idea of parallel universes and Sawyer's idea of an earth where Neanderthals became the dominant species and then a barrier between the two worlds is breached found me at just the right time in my life.  Around this time, I devoured Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth & World Without End then sobbed my heart out at the soul wrenching twist at the end The Sparrow by Maria Doria Russell.

I could go on and on, about how specific books & authors have shaped me and saved me.  For now, this is a lovely walk down memory lane for me and hopefully an inspiration for you to read more books!  It's also a good reminder that even though I had already let go of many of these books before starting this radical downsizing, the power of the stories is always with me.  That reminder makes this process of letting go of most of my books much easier today.

The books I'm keeping (for now).

As much as I love books, I never amassed a large collection.  I regularly donate or give my books away when I'm done with them.  I always suggest to my clients to use their bookshelves as parameters and if they start to overflow then it's time to edit their collections.  As a result, I don't have a lot of books to put in my sale, but those that I'm letting go of are meaningful to me.  The ones I'm keeping are dog eared and highlighted and books that will read and reference over & over again throughout my life.


I am grateful for my Kindle and it will definitely come in handy during this minimalism part of my journey.  However, I still hold the dream of having a a home with a room dedicated to books.  For today, I'll rely on the library card and digital downloads.

Imagine No Possesions

I've been hearing John Lennon's "Imagine" in my head for the last few days.  I always loved that song and the video, especially the way Yoko Ono smiles at him at the end.  That smile seemed to show that love was their most valuable possession.

As for me, I spent most of my life imagining more possessions - more furniture, more art, more square footage to house it all.  I collected Architectural Digest magazines for several years and even hauled 3 boxes of those suckers around for several moves in my early 20s.  I imagined my house on those pages. 

Now, instead of decorating my life, I'm undecorating it.  My pictures & artwork have all been removed from my walls and have colorful stickers on them for the garage sale.  I feel an incredible sense of freedom at this time and the possibilities seem wide open now.  Less definitely seems like more today.

I did have to take a little break today though from getting my stuff ready for the sale.  I had a bit of an emotional hangover this morning from all the feelings & memories this process is bringing up.  I'm sure part of that resulted from spending some time last night cleaning up my Grandmother's old console radio.  I had a flashbacks of dusting its wooden scrolls as a child.  Less stuff means less stuff to dust though and I won't miss dusting all those nooks and crannies.

I'm beginning to realize how much space my stuff has taken up in my head.  Getting it all moved into the garage seems to have helped me detach from it.  I once read that "everything in every drawer takes up space in our heads".  Now that I only have a few drawers with very few things in them, there seems to be space for new thoughts and dreams now and I'm excited about those possibilities.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

Today I had a lot of help from from my son & a friend's son moving most of my furniture and household goods upstairs to the garage.  Between the 2 of them they had it all done in about 30 minutes.  I had spent the last couple of weeks getting it all organized and boxed up so it could just be picked up and moved upstairs, but they 20-something muscles and stamina made quick work of it all (and they were probably both hung over too!).

Now I get to spend the next few days organizing & pricing everything.  I'm also doing some research on a couple of the items that belonged to my Grandparents - an antique steamer trunk & vintage console radio.  I found a sticker inside the radio with the model number so that makes the process much easier & I was able to find out how much it's worth today and can do some pre-sale advertising on Craigslist to see if I can sell it in the next few days.

 
The busy work of getting ready for the sale seems to be helping me process some of the emotions that are coming up with releasing all of these things.  Most of it is really easy and I'm happy to see it go, especially since a couple of my friends already did some shopping so I know those things went to good homes. 

Cleaning up my Grandparent's things and researching there value made me feel closer to them today and I know that they would be happy know the value of their former belongings and proud of me for taking this journey.

The Voices in my Head

I know I'm not the only one who has a committee of critics in her head.  My decision to move across country AND radically simplify my life has done nothing to quiet their voice.  If anything, they're chiming in more often trying to convince me that I'm too old, not talented enough, too fat, don't have enough money or the right car and that I'm crazy to think I'll make it on my own.  They're even telling me right now that nobody wants to hear what I have to say about this process or anything else.

Fortunately, I've learned how to quiet these voices over the years and have come to understand that it's just fear trying to run the show.  Years ago, my friend from Santa Fe introduced me to Louise Hay's little blue book, "You Can Heal Your Body" during one of my visits and the affirmations in that book have become one of my most effective tools for changing my inner critics into personal cheerleaders.  I also learned to reason things out with someone else, someone outside my own head that is.  And that simple act has helped me live a life full of possibilities instead of a life based on fear.

I've been surprised though by some of the negative thoughts that have come up since I started simplifying.  I discovered that I've been subconsciously defining myself by some of my things.  Now I begin to wonder who I really am without these things.  Do I become "less than" with less stuff? 

Perhaps it's simply time to redefine who I am, and letting go of most of my belongings gives me space to figure that out.  This is a voluntary process after all. I don't have to get rid of everything to make this move.  I have plenty of friends who have the space for me to store it all until I get settled in Santa Fe.  One friend even asked why I was doing this, wondering if it was some sort of science experiment.  The answer is yes, of course.  I am intrigued by the idea of becoming a minimalist (at least for a while) and clearing away the old to make room for a new sort of new.  

One of the items I am definitely keeping is my Dad's childhood rocking chair.  That's him  pictured below in 1941 and my son at nearly the same age in 1993.  I also rocked in it as a child and hope to see my grandchildren rocking in it one day.  But, as much as I love my some of our other family heirlooms, like my Grandmother's steamer trunk and console radio, I am willing to let them go today.  That doesn't mean I'm letting go of my memories of her or dishonoring her memory in any way.  It's just about peeling back another layer of this onion and learning to be comfortable in my own skin without all the extra layers of stuff surrounding me.

Memories Not Mementos

My grandmother gave me this ceramic bank when I was five.  I know he's really ugly, but I love him anyway.  He's had a special place on my  bookshelves over the years and currently has the honor of being a door stop in my office.  I even found a little over $8 in change in him today.  So, he's earned his keep.

At some point I wrote my name on the bottom just like Andy did on Woody in Toy Story.  Somehow putting my name on him made him mine. And now that the time has come to let him go, his garish, blue eyes seem to be begging me to keep him. 

I'm not sure anyone else would love him the way I do & feel like I should bury him in the back yard instead of selling him in a yard sale.  Taking a picture definitely helps with letting him go, and this twelve-inch, splotchy, ceramic dog with glitter on his ears will always have a place in my heart even if he no longer has a place in my home. 

Photographic Memories

I'm having a BIG sale in a couple weeks to jump start this clearing process.  So, I've spent the last few days taking pictures down from my walls and out of frames as part of this journey to radical simplicity.   Some of these were easy because I'm so ready for a fresh start and being able to scan the photos and save them on my computer makes this process much easier.  I always tell my clients to take a picture of something that they want to remember but doesn't fit in their home or life.  I picture's worth a 1,000 square feet!

I am keeping about 6 small pictures in frames to display in my new home and 3 or 4 to hang on the wall, although I'm still debating a couple of those.  My Grandparent's framed wedding photo from 1919 with the domed glass is a keeper, but almost all of the photographs that now hang on my walls have been scanned & the frames are ready to sell. 

And then I found this crazy, LIFE-SIZE senior picture on a shelf and she's definitely not making the trip with me.  Although it might be fun to prop her up in the backseat and see how people react!

I have a friend who has a large scanner so I can save it as a digital memory along with the few pieces of larger artwork I've saved from when my son was little.  What surprised about this particular photo is my reluctance to throw in the trash.  I don't have any emotional attachment to it - she's way to serious for me - but there's something about the fact that it is mounted on nice, thick mat board that makes me hesitate.  Believe me, I've thrown away plenty of pictures after scanning them, so this really surprised me.  Maybe it's just my background in photography or picture framing and know the energy and work that went into this one that makes it difficult. 

The feelings that came up with getting rid of this photograph is part of the motivation to write this blog.  I know so many people struggle with letting go of things and by sharing my thoughts, feelings & suggestions during this process I hope to inspire others to face their own feelings about their stuff and embark on their own journey toward simplicity.

Because I was struggling with letting go of this photo, I decided to talk to a friend about it and she suggested burning it. That sounded like a good idea to me and I think it will be a great symbolic gesture in this clearing process. I'm sure I'll come across a few other things to burn with it like old bills, taxes, etc. that I won't mind throwing in the fire at all.  I'm feeling better about it already.

Radical Simplicity

I didn't consciously set out to ad what I'm calling "Radical Simplicity" to my journey to Santa Fe.  As a Professional Organizer, I am always emphasizing that "Less is More" and asking clients (and myself) to "Eliminate the Nonessential" in their lives. 

Recently, I "stumbled upon" the Becoming Minimalist Facebook page, was introduced to Collin Wright's website Exile Lifestyle where he share's his story as an author, entrepreneur, and full-time traveler, and watched the documentary series Long Way Round about Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman's trek around the world on motorcycles.   Then I made the decision to move to Santa Fe and I think that the juxtaposition of all of these events so close together inspired me to consider the idea of radically simplifying and only take with me what will fit in my car. 

So begins the process of going through all of my belongings.  Even though I'm not planning to move until the spring, I'm going to have a BIG garage sale in a couple weeks before winter sets in and get rid of the majority of my stuff.  I'll be sharing my thoughts, feelings and suggestions as I move through this process.  I can tell you now that some interesting feelings and attachments are revealing themselves as I consider letting go of certain items.  I have a feeling that this process and the next chapter of my life in Santa Fe are going to be very interesting.

Apron Strings

My first road trip to Santa Fe in back in 1999 took place in 1985 Ford Tempo with my 7 year old son Devin in the backseat as my navigator.  I must have been crazy because that Tempo barely made it over the Raton Pass between Colorado & New Mexico.  This was the days before GPS & when cell phones just made phone calls, which made it even more of an adventure.  We just did it old school and mapped out the trip in an actual road atlas and I showed my son how to identify mile markers and exit signs.

I upgraded to a Ford Explorer in 2002 and then had no problems driving through the mountains.  This made it possible to make several more road trips over the years so I could satisfy my desire to be in that enchanted land.  Every time we left though, I felt like I was leaving home.

Devin is 21 now and has been living on his own for a couple years.  He's in the National Guard and plans to go to active duty when his contract is up in 2 years and will either be deployed or stationed somewhere else.  

As a single Mom it was important for me to give my son a sense of stability and family.  We lived with my parents during that time while I was earning my degree in business and starting my career.  Living with my parents helped me afford our road trips and provided Devin (and me) with a valuable education about our country as well as lots of memories.

Today I feel like the apron strings are loose enough to strike out on my own and start the next chapter of my life in the land of my dreams.   I'm just hoping that Devin can serve as my navigator on my next trip to my new home.

Shan Shui

My earliest memories are of rearranging my bedroom furniture & organizing the silverware drawer.  I grew up believing that I would be an Interior Designer, but in 1997 Oprah hired a Professional Organizer to bring some order to her closet & bathroom, and I had my first "AHA!" moment.  I was in college at the time and convinced my classmates in a Entrepreneurship Class to do our group project on starting a professional organizing service, and my dream of owning my own business became a reality. 

I also began reading about Feng Shui around this time.  I had never heard of Chi or a Bagua map, but I discovered that I had been intuitively arranging furniture to improve the flow of energy in the rooms I redesigned.  I remain an avid student of Feng Shui and continue I apply these principles to my life and clients' homes.

During my first visit to Santa Fe in 1999, my friend Jen graciously allowed me to rearrange her home.  After a few hours of moving things around and some decluttering, she turned to me and exclaimed, "It's been Shan Shui'ed!".  

Sixteen years later, I still love helping people organize & redesign their lives and look forward to doing more of the same in Santa Fe.  

Vision of Love

This is the picture my friend Jen gave me to entice me back to Santa Fe after my first visit in 1999.  It was a home made panorama that had been taped together with love & it became my first Vision Board.  

My friend knew a picture's worth a 1,000 words and there was enough BIG SKY in Santa Fe to soothe the soul of a girl from the wide open space of Nebraska.

This blog is about my recent decision to finally move to The Land of Enchantment and create a new life out there on my own.  I've also decided to get rid of most of my possessions and only take with me what fits in my car.  As a Professional Organizer, I also want to learn first hand what minimalism is all about and what it means to me.  So, join me on this road if you like and maybe we'll all learn something along the way.