The Girl Who Sold Her Christmas Tree

Apparently, today is "Buy Nothing Day" -  an international day of protest against consumerism.  Today is also the first day I became aware that such international protest existed.  According to Wikipedia though, "The first Buy Nothing Day was organized in Canada in September 1992 'as a day for society to examine the issue of over-consumption'.  In 1997, it was moved to the Friday after American Thanksgiving, also called "Black Friday", which is one of the ten busiest shopping days in the United States. In 2000, advertisements by Adbusters promoting Buy Nothing Day were denied advertising time by almost all major television networks except for CNN. Soon, campaigns started appearing in the United States, the United Kingdom, Israel, Austria, Germany, New Zealand, Japan, the Netherlands, France, and Norway. Participation now includes more than 65 nations."  There's also a Buy Nothing Christmas movement that has some great ideas for making this holiday season memorable without spending any money. 

For the sake of this blog post, I'd like to be able to say that today is also the day I sold my Christmas tree, but I actually sold it 2 days ago as part of my process of downsizing.  It just so happens that as I stumbled into Radical Minimalism a couple months ago and started selling & donating most of my stuff, I now find myself pondering an international protest.  Not sure I'm ready to go that jump on that bandwagon, but since I've never been a "Black Friday" shopper and had already planned to spend very little on Christmas this year, this idea certainly appeals to me. 

As a Professional Organizer, my goal is not only to help people organizer there stuff, but more importantly, to help them identify what's really important to them and to make room for making memories with their family and friends or exploring hobbies or interests they've been putting off until "some day".   Usually this involves getting rid of a load or two of nonessential stuff so that you can actually hear what the essential has to say.  This is easier said than done especially with the pressure to fill our homes with more & more stuff.

I won't be playing The Grinch this year or boycotting holiday cheer.  I have a few special items that I will be putting out to brighten my home & hearth, but I do intend to keep exploring this simple path and reminding myself that it's the journey that counts, even though I'm really excited about starting a new life in Santa Fe in the spring.  I keep getting reminded to give myself and others the gift of being present in the moment & my hope is that whatever you choose to spend or not spend or whether you put up a Christmas tree or Menorah or nothing at all, that you seize the opportunity to spend time with friends & family this holiday season.

grat-I-tude

I believe that the practice of writing a daily gratitude list for the last few years has changed the way my brain works.  My synapses seem to fire differently these days because finding things to be grateful for throughout the day has become second nature.  Sometimes my first thought is to say a prayer of gratitude instead of the old refrain, "Why me?".  

I've always pretty optimistic about life, but I remember a time when I thought God was a terrorist who looked for ways to punish me.  For some reason, I thought this punishment came through my car.  Whenever my car wouldn't start or broke down or I got a flat tire, my first thought was that I had done something wrong and this was how God decided to punish me.  I'm not sure where I got this idea since the loudest message I got growing up in a Methodist church was "Jesus loves me."  Somewhere along the line though that message morphed in to visions of hellfire & brimstone and the fear of going to Hell in a handbasket.

I was 22 when my son was born and my idea of gratitude at that time was that it was a duty and if  I wasn't grateful enough God would punish me or my son.  My life wasn't going according to my plans and I was really angry at the God I grew up with for not answering my prayers for a knight in shining armor and a home in Architectural Digest.  Even though my son's father was in our lives at that time, he had a habit of disappearing and even when we were together, I felt like a single mom.  

I had no real tools for living at this time in my life.  Surviving was the name of the game and it wasn't until a couple years after my son was born when I went back to college and found a spiritual program that the real gratitude found a home in my heart.  I started hearing about the idea of making a list of things I was grateful for and would occasionally make a list in a last ditch effort to stave off scary situations.  I also tried making a list when I needed money to cover an unexpected bill or wanted something special. 

Around this time a friend of mine created an online group where we could share gratitude with friends.  It sounded like a good idea and it wasn't long before making a list became a daily practice.  Some days are still harder than others to come up with 13 things for which I am especially grateful for today, but I always feel better after my list is complete and sent out into Gratitude Land.  I started out with an even dozen items on my list and now add an extra item on my list to make it a "Baker's Dozen".

What's really interesting to me is that now that I am letting go of most of my possessions, many of which have appeared on my gratitude list over the years, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this opportunity to explore a new way of living my life - a life with less stuff & more adventures.  Isn't it ironic that having less makes me feel more grateful?

I no longer feel like I owe a debt of gratitude.  Today I feel like gratitude is my friend.  Sometimes I forget to call her and get stuck on my pity pot.  Fortunately, most days I remember to take her hand and count my blessings and we trudge the road to happy destiny together.  With that said, here's my list for today:

Today I am especially great-FULL for...

1.  abundant sunshine makes cold days better
2.  Creative Conference Calls
3.  a safe & reliable car
4.  a great mechanic who has saved me thousands of dollars over the years
5.  washer fluid
6.  simple preparations done for tomorrows lunch
7.  noticing that my the gratitude quote that I end my lists with is by the same person who wrote a different quote I posted on Facebook about gratitude
8.  my glasses - my contacts felt glued to my eyes earlier this evening
9.  hand lotion & lip balm
10.  hot showers & space heaters
11.  a safe & warm home
12.  getting to spend tomorrow (Thanksgiving) with family & friends
13.  practicing gratitude with all of you everyday

Namaste,
Shannon


"Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."  ~ Melody Beattie

Radio Silence

I don't know if this happens anymore, but "Radio Silence" was when radio stations were asked to stop transmitting for safety or security reasons.  Because my brain decided to stop transmitting intelligible thoughts for the last couple of weeks, it seemed like an appropriate title for this post about my lack of posts.

After my Radical Moving Sale and flurry of activity surrounding the first phase of my move, I needed to safety break from all the emotions and changes and just "be still" for a while.  I knew when I started this journey that there would be many emotions to process as the result all the changes and decided to be gentle with myself and plan to enjoy my entire journey and not just focus on the end of the road.  While I am eagerly anticipating my cross-country move, I continue to practice staying in today and embracing each day here in Omaha.

Unfortunately, the voices in my head didn't head the order for radio silence.  So, I've decided to follow Eminem & Rihanna's advice "get along with the voices inside of my head".  For me that means not taking those voices too seriously and continuing to reason things out with my friends and sharing those thoughts here with you. 

Cartoon courtesy of toothpastefordinner.com.

If you haven't heard Eminem's Song "The Monster" be sure to check it out - I may be "nuts for real" but I think that he's is an amazing lyricist.  The Monster by Eminem ft. Rihanna

"I ain't much of a poet, but I know somebody once told me to seize the moment and don't squander it". ~ Eminem

Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow

YESTERDAY started with unexpected tears.  This has happened a few times since I started selling & donating my belongings. These tears were brought on by seeing a picture of antique drop-leaf table that a friend bought from me last week.  She posted a picture of it in her home and when I saw it the tears just started to fall.  They didn't last long because I simply felt the feelings about letting go of something that I really enjoyed having in my home.  Then I went on with my day.  I am grateful to know that it went to a good home.

My table's new home.

Part of this process has been an awareness that I've defined myself by my things.  I didn't realize how much a part of who I think I am has been wrapped up in the furniture & items I've collected over the years to decorate my home.  Who am I without these things?

I've worked with many people over the years who struggle with letting go of anything.  The process usually involved asking them to tell me about the item.  Sometimes talking about what it means to them helps them let it go, especially if the object actually holds unpleasant memories for them.  I've also taken a lot of pictures of items that people still feel attached to but know they'll never use or display the item.  But, even without a picture, I assure them that they can keep their memories without holding on to the mementos. This was a good reminder for me today as I continue this journey.

TODAY dawned much brighter.  I'm worked with a woman in her 80s this morning to help her downsize because she's planning to leave her home of 20 years to Tennessee to be closer to her family.  I love working with "Golden Girls" and hearing their stories and helping them honor their family memories as they lighten their loads.   She did a great job today letting go of several bags full of old magazines and we got her dining room & kitchen tables cleared off too.  She now has a clean space in her kitchen to sort through her mail and a small "To Do" basket that she can carry with her to the living room when she needs a more comfortable seat to finish her action items.

I also spent some time with my son today.  He's 21 and has been living on his own for the last 2 years.  I had to bribe him with lunch in order to be granted an audience, but enjoyed watching a movie with him and visiting my "grand-kitty" Bella.  My son cleaned and his apartment last night after buying some new lamps.  He insists that he is nothing like me & that he's not "organizing", but I know better.  I knew he took after me when he was 2 years old.  I had been listening to him play in his room for a while and got curious about what he was doing.  He'd shut the door very dramatically (more proof that he's my son) about 20 minutes earlier and when I opened the door to see what he'd been up to, I discovered that he had moved all of his furniture (all lightweight plastic stuff at that time) to a new place.  It was all neatly arranged, just not the way it had been before he shut the door.  Like Mother, like Son!

TOMORROW is Saturday and will actually be a day off for me.  That just means I don't have a client session scheduled for tomorrow.  So, I'll have time to upgrade my website, edit Before & After photos, follow up with clients, work on a several marketing ideas for the month, complete some admin work for a virtual client, do laundry, vacuum, edit & upload more personal pictures to our family picture website, juice some veggies, do some batch cooking for the week, post some more of my stuff on Craigslist,  watch a movie, spend some time with a friend and since I don't have a set schedule for all of this stuff, take an afternoon nap.

Wide Open Spaces

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about

Who's never left home, who's never struck out
To find a dream and a life of their own
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone

Many precede and many will follow
A young girl's dream no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out west
But what it holds for her, she hasn't guessed yet

She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes

She traveled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning, she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons, she'll take this test

She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes

Wide Open Spaces by The Dixie Chicks

 

I've been hearing this song in my head for the last few days & I listening to it now as I type for inspiration.  I put it on a mixed CD back in the 90s and would play it every time we headed  out on one of our road trips to Santa Fe.  What can I say?  I grew up watching the movie "Grease" and always wanted my own personal soundtrack.  And, while this song certainly sums up my feelings about following my dream to strike out on my own, it also resonates on a deeper level today as I deconstruct my home in search radical simplicity.  

I've spent most of my life decorating & rearranging my home and even made a career out of doing the same thing for other people.  I never had much money to work with but I always had creativity in spades, and finding new ways to use items I already owned was always a wonderful challenge.  My mind always seemed to be searching for new ways to personalize the spaces I inhabited and make the houses in which I've lived into homes.  My daydreams (and night dreams) were filled with detailed plans to remodel homes and redecorate interiors.  Letting go of this thinking is creating new and unexpected feelings.  I've had to remind myself several times that I'm not buying new stuff to replace the things I've sold or donated during this process and that reminder has been followed by a quiet sense of relief.  It feels like a breath fresh air and there now seems to be a wide open space in my head for new dreams & possibilities. Of course, it helps that I can still live vicariously through my clients' furniture arrangements and create new and interesting galleries on their walls with their favorite pieces of art and family photos.

As I was typing this, I was thinking about what photo to include with the post.  This picture came to mind immediately because it's one of the few items that are coming with me. I've been scanning old family photos for several years now and the original of this print is only about 1x2 inches.  Thanks to my trusty scanner, I was able to have it enlarged and printed onto 2x3 feet canvas last year.  It was taken in 1918 of my Grandmother on the plains of Iowa with her two oldest children (and the third on the way).  I've always been fascinated by the it's candid nature and even though she looks really tired it captures a real moment in her early life as a mother and is much more appealing to me than the stiffly formal portraits of the time.  It makes me wonder about the dreams she had for her own life.  So, I'm taking her with me to the Land of Enchantment and perhaps as I learn more about myself on this journey, I'll learn more about her as well. 

A Trunk Full of Love

This trunk has been a part of my life since my Grandmother died in 1977.  It kept stuffed animals in it when I was a little girl, magazines when I was a teenager and was repurposed many times as an adult in different rooms in my home.  I used it for throw pillows & had a basket for shoes in it at one time & really liked this display with plants that I put together a few years ago.  It's been a part of the backdrop of my life for as long as I can remember, and now it's gone.  I sold it to a man who plans to give it to a friend in Texas who restores this type of old steamer trunk.  

After I sold it, I thought that maybe the trunk would find its way back to me again someday after it had been restored.  It was a comforting thought to have as I watch the man load it into his car, but I also knew letting it go was the right thing for me right now.  

I was only 7 when my Grandmother died, but I have many lovely memories of her and know that she would have supported my decision to sell her trunk & would be championing my decision to follow my dream to Santa Fe.  I think of her often as I write about this journey.  Memories of sitting on the swing on her front porch & looking out the stained glass windows on the wall of her staircase.  I can still see the white, chenille bedspread on the bed in the room at the top of the stairs & loved it when she asked me to get her a bobby pin from the Pond's cold cream jar on her vanity.  I remember her ceramic cookie jar & stainless steel toaster that held 4 slices of bread & the way the well water tasted against her rainbow colored metal drinking glasses.  And any time I smell Cream of Wheat, I feel my self pulled back in tie to her warm kitchen on cold winter mornings.  

Every spring when the peonies bloom I think of her because her house was  surrounded by beds of flowers.  She was an avid gardener and I still have pictures of her Garden Club entries.  I also vividly remember picking peonies from her garden to place on her grave on Memorial Day after she died.  

My fondest memory though is the year I got Betsy Wetsy for Christmas.  I was 4 1/2 years old and all I could think of on the drive from our house in Missouri to her house in Iowa was showing Grandma my new doll.  This is the picture from that day & I'm so grateful that her love for me was captured in this Polaroid moment.  I wish I'd had more time with her and that my first lesson about death wasn't her death.  She is always with me though and I've felt her presence throughout my life as my guardian angel. 

Her name was Theda Ostie Hinds.  She was born on September 19, 1895 and married John Wesley Baker on July 24, 1914.  They raised raised 8 children to adulthood and buried several infants and a 9 year old son.  My father was her youngest son and she died on December 11, 1976 but her memory lives on in  me.  I am Theda Baker's Granddaughter.