Awareness, Acceptance & Action

I don't want to talk about it or write about it or deal with it.  Again.  The recurring struggle of my life.  My love-hate relationship with food.  The ups and downs of the scale.  But, the Yo-Yo has come around and smacked me in the ass.  Again.  

In so many ways, my first year here in Santa Fe has lived up or surpassed my dreams.  My business is doing well, I found a sister-from-another-mother in my roommate, I've made new friends and feel a part of this enchanted community of artists and dreamers and entrepreneurs. 

It has been a stressful year though.  Starting a new life, rebuilding my business, making new friends - all good but stressful things.  I forgot that my default reaction to stress is to turn to my drug of choice.  Food.  I am a food addict.  Something I finally came to terms with more than 10 years ago. But, denial is not just a river in Egypt. I jumped right back on that Merry-Go-Round named Denial and used food to help take the edge off of my fears.  

So, here I am.  Again.  Sick and tired of being sick and tired.  And, finally ready to stop hiding from my fears and face the truth.  So, here goes. After crawling through this painful AWARENESS and wallowing in radical ACCEPTANCE for the last few months, I AM now recommitting to one day at a time ACTION.  

Seamless Elastics!

Who knew that my lifelong search for the perfect rubber band for my hair would be the thing that would get me writing again.  I've had plenty of things to write about my new life her in Santa Fe over the last 3 months - amazing vistas, wonderful new friends, moving to a new house, building a new organizing clientele, and, of course, green chiles.  

But, a trip to Walgreens a couple weeks ago inspired me to start sharing my journey again, all because of a simple $1.99 purchase.  I've had a love-hate relationship with headbands, barrettes and rubber bands.  I have a LOT of hair and it doesn't normally respond well to being kept in one place for any length of time.  Headbands slip off after a few turns of my head, barrettes break apart, clips fall apart at the hinges and rubber bands, well rubber bands loose their elasticity and snap in two on a regular basis. 

I thought I found the right one a few years ago - a non-slip style by Goody.  They lasted longer than most and rarely broke, but like socks in a dryer, disappeared into some unknown vortex.  So, I went looking for more on Amazon last year and bought about 50 of the little suckers.  Unfortunately, somewhere along the line some genius redesigned them, probably to save money, and my once trusted elastic friends now loose their elasticity and snap in two on a regular basis.  Thus, my late night foray into the florescent aisles of another drug store, once again hopefully searching for new form of elastic to corral my unruly locks.

That night, I decided to try the curly bobby pins that claimed to hold a bun in place along with some colorful rubber bands that actually look like rubber.  While searching for something else to try I noticed a little packet of "Seamless Elastics" for $1.99.  They were cheaper than everything else, so I thought I'd give them a try.  The bobby pins actually worked pretty well, but I need a couple more to keep my bun in place and they are a bit of a bitch to get out - my hair didn't want to give them up.  The colorful rubber bands tend to pull on my hair and gave me headache, but the innocuous Seamless Elastics are fabulous!  They are stretchy enough to make that third wrap around my ponytail to help keep it high and tight (without pulling) on the back of my head where I like it.  Because they seem to be cut from some sort of polyester fabric tube there isn't a seem to snap and after I release my hair for the night, they actually shrink back to their original size.  

So, I went back a few days ago and bought 9 more packets of these little gems.  I was tempted to clean them out, but decided to wait while to be sure they stand the test of time and the weight of my hair.  It has only been a couple weeks and I know it's still the honeymoon phase for me and my Seamless Elastics, but for today, I am a happy camper and so is my hair.

Still Connected

Well, after finally making the decision to cancel my old 402 phone number, it feels like the Universe is still messing with me.  In last week's Disconnected post, I told you about having to wait after making this decision because Sprint's website was experiencing difficulties.  I tried logging in the next day and got the same message.  So, a few days later I started an online chat with a Sprint rep and was given an 800# to call to cancel the line.  By this time I was getting irritated, which pushed aside any hesitation I had about letting go of this part of my past.  But, when the representative informed me that I'd have to pay $200 to get out of my contract for this phone, a contract that I wasn't supposed to have any more since I'd switched to a Framily Plan, I wasn't amused.  I'm sure this little bit of information is somewhere in the fine print of my new Framily Plan, but it certainly felt like I'd been caught in a Catch 22.  

I know this really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.  I just find funny that after all of my vacillating about whether or not to disconnect this number, and finally deciding to let it go, the answer I received was, "Not now."  So, the real opportunity to let go in this situation for me is to let go of my desire to make it happen now and accept, once again, that "It is what it is."  There may be another phone call to Sprint to confirm the information and remind them what "valued" customer I have been for the last decade, but the real work of letting go of my attachment to this phone number has been done.  The process and the emotions it brought up have just been so interesting to me, because it is, after all, just a phone number.  However, it has been a good reminder that there are many side streets on this road to Radical Simplicity, and even something as seemingly insignificant as a phone number can lead me closer to the truth about what is and is not important to me today.

Disconnected?

As of today, I've been in Santa Fe for 2 months.  I'm not sure how time can seem to fly and crawl at the same time, but it feels like I just got here and like home all at once.  I'm settled in my new home and have been exploring in and around Santa Fe and making new friends.  Tonight I decided to write about my decision to let go something I thought I needed to keep.  It's not taking up much space, only about 2x4 inches in a drawer, but the $55 a month it's costing me could be spent on other things, like exploring more of New Mexico.

I didn't realize what a security blanket it had become though until I started thinking about letting go of it.  It's been a part of my life for more than 30 years and a tangible link to my old life in Omaha.  I kept it because I didn't want any of my clients to ever get an "this number has been disconnected" message when they dialed 402-551-8967.  That's the phone number my family got when we first moved to Omaha in 1980.  

I ended up with it when, as a young single-mom I moved into a new home with my parents.  They still had the number and when we set up a new account with Cox at the new place the account was put in my name.  This was still the 90s and I'm not sure I even had a cell phone yet.  But, at some point we got a separate line for my parents and this phone number stayed in my name.  

Six or seven years ago, when I got rid of my LAN line, I was able to transfer this number to my cell phone and maintain this small bit of continuity amidst all the changes that were happening in my life at that time.  Maybe that's why I've hesitated (am still hesitating as I type this) to pull the plug on this part of my past.  In fact I feel really emotional about it at the moment.  I understand that it's really more of a symbolic gesture and just another layer in this process of radically simplifying my life.

So, here goes.  I'm logging on to Sprint's website now... and once again I see that the Universe likes to play games with me because when I tried to log in to cancel this phone line I got this message:

So, I guess that means it's time for me to go to sleep and this is something I can take care of tomorrow.

To be continued...

Path to Plentitude

Last Saturday I went to a networking meeting for women entrepreneurs in Santa Fe and met a wonderful group of women.  I sensed a few kindred spirits in the group and had the chance to visit one of them in her radically simple home today - a unique home she designed & constructed herself.  It's a portable structure, made of canvas and at less than 200 sq feet, the PleniSphere is a special place and it's creator, Anodata Pyaga, is a special person.

When I met Anodata last weekend and found out about her creation & that she only lived about 1/2 mile from my house, I knew I had to visit her during one of her open house days and get a first hand look at her little living space under the domed canvas roof.  

As I walked along the trail behind Frenchy's Field to cross the Santa Fe River to get to her place, I spotted the smaller of the two Plenisphere's she has set up in her back yard in the distance.

Then I crossed over the footbridge that spans the river and headed down the trail toward her home and became even more excited to step inside one of her magical dwellings.  Being able to visit this type of structure only a few hundred feet from my own new home is truly one of the enchanting aspects of living in The City Different.  I love that this city seems to attract creative people like Anodata and her "spheres of plenitude".

The structure itself is elegant and welcoming in person as it appeared to be in the photos I saw on her website.  There was a lovely breeze wafting through the openings for the windows & doors as I sat and chatted with its designer this morning.  For such a small space, I was happy to see all of the ways in which she had maximized space by choosing furniture & making items that serve more than one purpose like the footstool that also serves as a desk and discretely conceals a composting toilet.  It was really interesting to talk to someone else who has made a conscious decision to radically simplify their life and see first hand the way she has embraced this way of life and taken it even further than I have by creating a dwelling that embodies the principles of living "sustainably in abundance and luxury".  I can only hope that my own journey toward Radical Simplicity continues to lead me down other such Paths of Plentitude.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow in Santa Fe

My friend here in Santa Fe was gracious enough to let me stay in her house for a couple weeks while I was looking for a place to live.  She and her husband went with me to scout out a few places and after seeing a couple of "shit-holes" (her husband's honest opinion) and a couple of lovely places, I choose a place on a street called Agua Fria.  I knew it was the place for me the minute I saw the mailbox - it had me with "om".  

The house itself was quite a mess when I first saw it because three 2o-something, male musicians had been living here and I had to look past the dirty dishes in the sink and the messy piles of their stuff.  I loved the owners though & could tell they loved this house.  They had lived here for 6 years themselves and I could still feel their positive energy all over the place.  They had installed a whole house, water filtration system and commercial grade appliances in the kitchen, but they kept the 1950s, turquoise double oven & matching gas range.  I love that my landlord is looking for a part to fix the oven.  He'll replace it if he has to, but I adore him for trying to keep these golden oldies. 

The original part of the house was built in 1920 and was apparently the General Store for the Village of Agua Fria at that time.  The walls are real adobe and the living room has the original vigas and the wooden slats on the ceiling above them are painted a lovely shade of dark turquoise.  The kitchen counters are a beautiful blue ceramic tile and with a little scrubbing of glass ceiling fixtures, the gentle glow of electric light now reflects nicely off the white-washed adobe walls.   I've also been discovering little critters that my landlords left behind in the nichos and even found a little metal frog sitting on top of an electrical box outside the kitchen the other day.

Another reason I chose the house is because it sits on 1/3 of an acre and is completely walled in making it a wonderful yard for my dog, Ginger, to explore.  There are 3 old growth apple trees, which my juicer will love, and a magic circle of stones just waiting to be reawakened from under the overgrown grasses.  My bedroom is on the East side of the house so I get to the lovely morning sun & have a french door that opens out to the back yard and one of the apple trees and a bench swing under a pergola.  This has become a favorite place to soak up the morning sun or gaze at the starlit sky.  It is a wonderful secret garden.   My landlords even told me that there are crystals buried all around the yard - just another reason on my long list of loves for this place I now call home. 

 

I also have a great roommate, who's a natural redhead like me - talk about adding some magic to this place!!  She actually rented the master bedroom before I met her, but I couldn't have chosen a better roommate if I'd picked her myself.  She's a 30 year old grad student studying Art Therapy & loves my dog almost as much as I do - she even left the light on for her the other night when I was out late - she left the porch light on for me too, but her note just mentioned the light for Ginger :-). 

So there you have it.  My new home has embraced me and there's plenty of room for all of my friends who said they were coming to visit me her in Santa Fe.  Come on down to the Land of Enchantment and my enchanted little house on Agua Fria.

What I Left Behind

As I radically simplified my life, there were just a few things that I knew I wouldn't be taking with me.  Most of the items where mementos from my son's childhood.  

Over the years I stored his memories in a couple of plastic totes & a couple of hanging files in my file cabinet.  When I started this process, I went through everything again and got rid of a few more things so that I could fit everything into one large tote.  Inside that tote now are ALL of his baby clothes, his favorite books - including "Goodnight Moon" & "The Stinky Cheese Man & Other Fairly Odd Tales", his artwork, school papers & other childhood mementos. 

I also saved a smaller tote that of just Legos.  I think I kept this tote because it was such a good little storage piece for him when he was little - big enough to hold all of them, but small enough for him to carry around.  The lid also locks in place on 2 sides and the handles fold down. He always used the lid as a building surface and despite all of the constant use, it is still in perfect condition.  His children may never play with his Legos, but I spent way to much time researching Lego containers during his childhood to let this one go easily.

The other 2 items will probably end up in my home again at some point.  I could have made them fit in my car, but didn't want to take the chance of breaking them.  The rocking chair was my father's when he was a baby - the photo below shows him, me & my son in the chair over the course of 50 years.  My Grandparent's wedding portrait has domed glass on it and I was afraid it would get broken in my tightly packed car during my drive down to Santa Fe.

For now these few items are safe in a storage space under the stairs in my son's house.