A Fist Full of Bacon

I had a dream last night that I broke my juice fast by grabbing a fist full of bacon from a big pile of bacon I found in the bottom drawer of a fridge.  With only a couple days left of what will be a 65 day juice fast, I think this means I'm ready to start eating again.  Bacon won't be on my menu anytime soon though, unless it's organic and even then only on the rare occasion.

I told a friend about my dream today and she asked me what I'd most like to eat after my fast.  I had to think about it because my old favorites are highly processed and not part of my plan for continuing to loose weight & eat healthier.  My answer did include bacon though.  I'll be heading to the Blue Planet Natural Grill at some point in March to get their California grass-fed beef burger with bacon, avocado and Swiss cheese (with out the bun) and a side of air-baked, sweet potato fries.  Blue Planet was one of my favorite restaurants and I'm sure I'll find a similar place to eat in Santa Fe. In the meantime, I continue to be amazed at the catalyst of change that juicing has provided for me and look forward to the abundance of new and healthy food choices ahead of me.

Paradigm Shift

The other night, as I was about to drift off to sleep I realized that I had been experiencing a gradual paradigm shift over the last couple of months.  Maybe it's just all of this juice going to my head or maybe it's a result of the clarity I've felt during my juice fast.  That clarity could also be the result of sleeping better.  When I started this juice fast 62 days ago I was 56lbs heavier and was only sleeping 2-3 hours at a time during the night.  I was constantly waking up during the night and often had to sleep sitting up in my living room chair because I was able to breathe easier that way.  Whatever the reason, I can see clearly now the road ahead of me and it's paved with hope.  

I am hopeful because spending this time cleaning out my body with fresh pressed juice seems to have washed away my fear my hunger. I've been chased by an unrelenting hunger most of my life and was afraid the hunger from only drinking juice would be unbearable, but I've been amazed at how manageable my hunger has been.  And the fear of hunger that has been a monkey on my back for so long seems to have found somewhere else to live.  Hopefully, he won't come back when I start eating bananas again.

I'm still amazed that I've been juicing for more than 60 days.  My last day will be this Friday and I'm excited to start chewing food again.  I am so excited about the changes ahead of me in the coming months and transformation that juicing has had on my body and my mind.  As I was writing about this shift I've felt tonight I came across this quote on a friend's Facebook page that sums up perfectly what I've been thinking and feeling lately.

"Change is a transition from dysfunctional behavior to functional behavior. Functionality means skill in achieving healthy goals. To change psychologically is to become skillful at handling things better now than we did before. Change is a psychological event; transformation is a spiritual gift. Transformation, unlike change, cannot be achieved; it happens. Transformation means love, wisdom, and healing in thought, word and deed." ~ David Richo

Simple Pleasures

I'm still juicing (today is day 56) and helping my Omaha clients get organized before I move to Santa Fe in May.  I'm planning to end my juice fast on February 28th, which will make 65 days.  I've lost 52lbs so far and only 11lbs away from my first goal.  Starting March 1st I'll transition back into solid food with a little fruit and salad each day.  Ultimately, I'll be back to eating a balanced breakfast and lunch, and juice during the evenings to help keep the evening munchies at bay.   

Juicing has become a "gateway drug" for me and is leading me down a path to permanent change in my eating habits.  Not just to lose weight, but to heal my body after a lifetime of overeating and filling my body with processed food.  I am nervous about having more choices once I'm done with my juice fast and accept that I will fall off the organic wagon, but I know juicing will always be my ticket for that ride.

I've also set a date for move for the weekend of May 16th and plan to have another garage sale the week before to sell the rest of my furniture anything that won't fit in my car.  Until then, I am helping my Mom manage the remodel of her new apartment, fostering my son's cat Bella and enjoying each day with my friends and clients here in Omaha.

Some of my simple pleasures today are getting these lovely flowers from a lovely friend & juicing new combinations of fruit & vegetables.  I'm still astonished by the pleasure I get from shopping for vegetables for my daily juices & really enjoyed this combo of cherry tomatoes, carrots and orange pepper this afternoon.   I also spent some time with my 21 year old son tonight looking at the artwork I saved from his elementary days.  It such a pleasure to hear him laugh at the poems he wrote for me when he was a little boy.  Now it's time for my other simple pleasure, bedtime.

44 is My Favorite Number Today

Today is the 44th day of my Juice Feast and my scale shows that I've lost 44lbs!  I like the synchronicity of those numbers. I've been considering staying with just juice for a full 60 days and have decided to go for it today.  I have 19 more pounds to go to reach my first goal and that seems easily attainable now.  

When I made a vision board for my weight loss goals back in October, I wasn't sure how I'd reach my first goal of losing  63lbs, but I knew it was time & I was willing to go to any lengths to get back to a healthy weight.  I'm still not comfortable publicizing my starting weight. Maybe that will be easier to share when I'm closer to my final goal.  

Until then I am determined to make the next 44 years of my life fundamentally different than the first 44 years by making healthy food choices a part of every day and every meal.  That doesn't mean I won't ever have a cookie or a cheeseburger.  For me it means practicing conscious eating, choosing minimally processed foods with simple ingredients and making fresh or cooked, organic vegetables the foundation of each meal.  And, of course, fresh fruit & vegetable juice will be a part of each day and I know juicing will always be a healthy way to get back on track if I ever fall of the organic chuck wagon.

Time Capsule

I finally made myself go through my son's baby clothes the other day.  They've been neatly organized for the last couple of decades and I do plan to hold on to this box of memories for my son for a while longer.  He's 21 now and doesn't care one way or the other and I probably won't  hand them over until there's another female influence in his life.  But I did find a few items that I really didn't remember and weren't really that special that went into my donate pile.

These clothes have been in a plastic tote for all this time and I also have one other tote with a few of his favorite books and stuffed animals.  In the spirit of radically simplifying everything in my life, I will pare it all down so that it all fits in ONE box.

My son also stopped by last night & I showed him everything I was going through.  The only thing he showed any interest in was his soccer shirt from grade school.  He thought it was cool that I saved it and even wants to frame and display it.  The baby clothes may never mean much to him, even if he has his own son someday he'll never "ooh & aah" over them like his future wife might, but he (and I) may really enjoy reading the books I saved to his kids someday.

One of the books I saved holds many fond memoris.  It's called, "The LonelyScarecrow" and has a matching snow globe.  I always kept it with our Christmas decorations and we read it every year during the holidays.  It's about a scarecrow that doesn't have any friends because he looks scary, until it snows and he becomes a friendly looking snowman.  I have a feeling it is more special to me than to Devin, but it's going in his memory box along with his favorite stuffed animals, Big Bear & Elmo,and the small box of Legos I saved for him.

Now all of his memories are in one large tote along with his artwork & school papers.  Just a little time capsule for him to enjoy someday in the future with his children. 

Woman v. Television

Over the last few weeks I've found myself a little obsessed with the Travel Channel's show "Man v. Food".  For those who haven't seen it, the host Adam travels around the country and takes on food challenges set up by restaurants.  The challenges involve an extremely large portion of food that must be eaten in a certain amount of time.  The prize is usually a t-shirt and his picture on the wall.  

Having had only fresh vegetable & fruit juice during this time it might seem like I'm a glutton for punishment, but watching the show hasn't made me hungry it's just made me wonder even more about our society that so values thinness yet loves super sized meals and mega food challenges like this show.

I always love a good dichotomy and this one is a good one.  It seems like everyday there is a new diet or miracle cure for losing weight and I've tried quite a few of them over the years.  I've also noticed that there are a LOT of commercials for pizza and all you can eat buffets these days. Funny,  I never noticed that before I started my juice fast.  Maybe I'm just living vicariously through all of those skinny people on TV eating large portions of fast food.  I don't feel deprived watching them though.  I actually feel free from my all that processed food for the first time in my life and am still thoroughly enjoying my juice feast.

What this is really telling me is that I watch too much TV and am glad that I had already made the decision to leave my TV behind when I move to Santa Fe this spring.  It's time to start living more of my life and watching less "reality" television.