a Time to Shred

The sun broke through the clouds yesterday afternoon and landed on my shoulders as I shredded the last of my old taxes and all of the financial documents from my bankruptcy 7 years ago.  I know it's not polite to talk about money in our society and I really don't want to write about my money issues, but they are part of my journey and contribute to my fears about moving to Santa Fe.  

After filing bankruptcy, I spent 2 years working with my mortgage company trying to modify my home loan.  I even put my house up for sale and got a good offer, but because the bank assured me that I would qualify for a modification and I declined the offer.  About a month later the bank told me that I did NOT qualify and they began foreclosure proceedings, ultimately getting much less for it that offer. 

The day before the foreclosure sale, I moved in with my parents.  My brother (the financially stable one in the family) owns the house my parents were living in and it had a big, finished basement that had more than enough room for me and my son, who was 19 at the time.  My son (who takes after my brother when it comes to money) moved into his own apartment a little over 2 years ago.  

It's not that I have extravagant tastes or am a compulsive shopper, but I am a spender rather than a saver.  I'm also a single-Mom who rarely received any child support.  When I bought my house, I was working full-time at a bank and making more than enough to cover all of my expenses and then some.  I'd been working in the corporate world for almost 10 years when I decided to take a leap of faith into self-employment.  Everything went well for the first 6 months because I also had a Virtual Assistant business scheduling appointments for financial advisers all over the country.  I was making almost as much as I had at the bank and then the economy took a nose dive and so did my income. 

It's been an emotional roller coaster coming to terms with living with my parents again.  I am truly grateful for the safety net my family has provided for me.  I was even able to see the grace in the timing of my situation when my Dad died last year.  If I hadn't been living with them, there's no way my Mom could have taken care of him by herself when he got sick and needed round the clock care.  Even though my Dad and I had a difficult relationship, I am grateful that I was here and that I could be of service to both of my parents when they needed it.  

Now, I'm getting ready to follow another dream to Santa Fe.  Perhaps I'll do better financially without the safety net of my family to fall back on.  I believe that helping people eliminate clutter and organize their lives is my life purpose.  I'm still working on getting my purpose to pay all of my bills.  Until it does, I will continue to...

"Trust God, Clean House & Help Others"